so: rule

Another day “off” tomorrow. A vacation day with the “off” in quotes. Not a day for sleeping in. Or sitting on the porch reading a book. Not relaxing.

It’s been an “off” week too. Strange weather. Dead plants. Work disappointment. Political b.s.

Perhaps that’s why tonight is not a good night for writing. A blockage is happening. Or is it apathy? Sloth? The siren song of bad tv calls. So does a pillow.

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Last night, while talking with a friend on the phone, she mentioned that once a week, she goes to bed at 8:30 whether she needs to or not. She looks forward to that night. Of course, there’s a very good reason for looking forward to it: she is the mom of a very busy almost 5 year old and that early-to-bed night is as close to “me time” as she usually gets. And she wakes up after her night of extra sleep feeling ready to deal with whatever comes her way. If she skips it, she’s “off”. Not her usual happy self. Not as nice to be around. Not at her best.

Not being at my best almost meant the rule for the blog got vetoed tonight. Writing every day is the rule. So this post is what happened.

And tomorrow is another day.

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So: water & chemicals

Today was one of those non-stop, wake up and hit the ground running sort of days. It was also a day when I was painfully reminded that we human beings are really nothing more than a bag of water and chemicals. And sometimes the mixture doesn’t work at its optimal level.

It was a day when the body frequently won in any battles with the mind. The heart was on its own terminal verge of tears timeline when it wasn’t feeling like lashing out at the next poor sod to say boo. The mind flitted from thing to thing like George vs toys vs squirrels vs playing with Godiva vs barking vs rolling in muck vs chasing birds.

It was however a day when being on, being smart, being funny, being attentive, being creative, being a leader, being a good listener, being a good wife, being a good friend, being a good guardian to the 4-leggeds, being all those things that I usually am, was very, very difficult. I checked with a couple of people and no one seemed to notice any difference.

But I did.

When I don’t feel well, as hard as I try to fake it ’til I make it, it just doesn’t work for me. People who I think are great made me frustrated. Or worse, angry. A chaotic day, which in my business is 1000% normal, makes me want to tear my hair out. Broken commitments, no matter how innocent, get me to question agendas and values. Even getting cut off in traffic brings out curse words so foul that I shudder to think what the person would think if I said them to their face. Cowardly words used for a reason no less than lack of creativity.

It was an off day.

The only beings who didn’t frustrate me were the 3G Network—they must have sensed a disturbance in the force. They were wonderful. Lots of tail wags and snuggles this morning. Listened well on their walk and didn’t drag me towards the possum and other woodland creatures they could smell hidden in the bushes. Came when they were called to come in. Ate their breakfast well.

And now, it’s the end of the day. Bruce is home from his business trip. The 3G Network is thrilled that everything is back to normal. So am I. And tomorrow will be a better day.